Parenting During A Divorce – Helpful Tips And Advice For Divorcing Parents

Last updated on September 18, 2023

If you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage, it’s important to discuss child custody and take steps to provide a stable environment for your children. At New York Family Law Group, our experienced Manhattan divorce lawyers take a holistic approach to family law. Our goal is to help our clients put their children’s needs first. In this blog, we’ll take a look at a few tips that may be useful as you navigate child custody and parenting during your divorce proceedings. Additionally, it’s important to understand how to prepare your finances when facing divorce. To receive quality legal advice about how to protect your children’s well-being during a divorce and gain insights into effective child custody arrangements, please contact us at (347) 212-5113.

1. Tell Your Children About The Divorce Together

First, make sure you and your spouse break the news to your children together. Be prepared to answer any questions they may have. Presenting a united front and reminding your children that both parents love them can be very helpful when first breaking the news about a divorce.

2. Create A Stable Environment At Home For Your Kids

Regardless of the circumstances of your divorce, your kids need a stable home environment. Make sure to keep them connected to their friends, family members, community, and support systems. Do your best to keep your lifestyle similar to how it was before the divorce.

3. Come Up With A Plan For Parenting Time 

You and your spouse will need to come to a voluntary custody arrangement and determine parenting time before your divorce is finalized. If you cannot agree to this, you will need to go to court to file for temporary custody orders. 

This process is a lot easier if the two of you can come up with a mutually agreeable voluntary custody arrangement. Note that temporary custody orders may change once the divorce is finalized and a permanent parenting plan has been created. 

4. Know How To Deal With A Difficult Co-Parent

First, avoid discussing adult issues with your child, even if your co-parent is doing that. If your ex is acting immaturely, do not stoop to their level. Leave the arguments, conflicts, and issues related to your marriage in the past – because they are in the past. 

Also, avoid engaging in contentious arguments with your ex. It also may be a good idea to keep track of all of your interactions with the other parent. related to custody, keeping appointments, visitation, and more. This may help build your case in court if your ex-spouse is being difficult. You should also consult with a Manhattan family lawyer at New York Family Law Group to protect yourself and your kids.

5. Learn How To Successfully Co-Parent After A Divorce 

Once your divorce has been finalized, remain polite with your co-parent, and do your best to keep your issues in the past and put your kids first. 

There are a lot of resources you can turn to in order to learn how to successfully co-parent after a divorce, such as books, video courses, and online resources. This article from Parents is a good place to start and has 7 great recommendations on co-parenting after divorce.

New York City family lawyer

6. Provide Emotional Support

Providing emotional support to children during a divorce is a critical aspect that should not be overlooked, as it can significantly impact their emotional well-being. As a responsible parent, it is crucial to prioritize your child’s needs and ensure that their emotional state is taken care of. It is imperative to communicate with your children and convey that the divorce is not their fault to prevent them from experiencing feelings of guilt or conflict. Consistently offering emotional support throughout the entire process is essential, as it can help your children cope with the situation and reduce the negative impact of the divorce on their emotional and mental health.

7. Don’t Hesitate To Ask Questions

Divorce can be a complex and challenging process, both from an emotional and legal standpoint. It is understandable that there may be aspects of your case that you do not fully comprehend, and seeking clarification is essential. While you do not need to be a legal expert, it can be beneficial to enlist the services of a knowledgeable attorney to ensure that everyone involved is on the same page. A skilled family law attorney can provide invaluable assistance during this difficult time, but it is crucial to clear up any potential confusion as soon as possible. By seeking clarification, you can fully understand the legal process and make informed decisions that align with your best interests.

Helpful Tips And Advice For Divorcing Parents Tips and Advice
Tell Your Children About The Divorce Together Present a united front when breaking the news, answer questions, and reassure them of both parents’ love.
Create A Stable Environment At Home For Your Kids Maintain stability by keeping them connected to friends, family, and their community. Keep their lifestyle consistent.
Come Up With A Plan For Parenting Time Agree on voluntary custody arrangement and parenting time; consider temporary custody orders if needed.
Know How To Deal With A Difficult Co-Parent Avoid discussing adult issues with the child, avoid arguments with ex, keep records of interactions. Seek legal advice if needed.
Learn How To Successfully Co-Parent After A Divorce Remain polite with co-parent, prioritize children, seek resources for successful co-parenting.
Provide Emotional Support Offer emotional support, communicate that the divorce isn’t their fault, prioritize their emotional well-being.
Don’t Hesitate To Ask Questions Seek clarification, consult a knowledgeable attorney for legal guidance and informed decisions.

What Can Be Used Against You in a Custody Battle?

In a custody dispute, the opposing party might utilize various aspects to argue against your suitability as a guardian for your child. It’s essential to recognize that custody battles are intricate legal processes, and the final decision can be influenced by a mix of factors. Though each case is unique, here are several factors that might be used against you in a custody battle:

  • Previous Criminal Incidents: A history of criminal convictions or interactions with the legal system can impact child custody proceedings by raising concerns about your capability to create a secure and consistent environment. The court considers factors such as the seriousness and recency of the criminal record, as well as any actions taken towards rehabilitation and personal growth.
  • History of Abuse or Neglect: Instances of mistreatment or failure to meet the child’s requirements, encompassing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, along with neglecting basic necessities like nutrition, hygiene, medical care, and education. Such a history can heavily influence custody decisions, potentially resulting in limited visitation or loss of custody rights. Addressing these issues through therapy, parenting courses, and rehabilitation is crucial.
  • Substance Abuse Problems: This pertains to struggles with drug or alcohol addiction, which can compromise your ability to offer a stable and healthy environment for the child. Substance abuse can affect your judgment, emotional stability, and parental responsibilities. Courts prioritize the child’s best interests and may require evidence of your commitment to sobriety, participation in rehabilitation programs, support group involvement, and therapy to tackle the root causes of addiction.
  • Parental Alienation: This arises when a parent manipulates the child’s emotions and undermines their relationship with the other parent. Such behavior can impact custody cases by implying an inability to collaborate for the child’s welfare. To counter this, showcasing evidence of promoting the child’s bond with the other parent, maintaining positive communication, facilitating visitation, and engaging in collaborative efforts is crucial.
  • Frequent Changes in Residences: This involves repeatedly relocating homes, which could disrupt the child’s stability, education, and overall well-being. Courts place value on stability, so demonstrating a long-term residence, enrolling the child in a consistent school, and presenting a sustainable housing plan are important in addressing concerns about providing a stable home environment.
  • Ineffective Co-parenting: This refers to an inability to effectively work together, communicate, and make joint decisions with the other parent. Courts place importance on cooperative co-parenting for the child’s emotional and psychological growth. Demonstrating cooperation, attending co-parenting classes or therapy, and providing instances of successful collaboration can strengthen your case for custody.
  • Financial Instability: Although not the sole consideration, your financial situation impacts your ability to meet the child’s needs. The uncertainty of your financial situation may lead to worries about your capacity to meet the fundamental needs of the child, including food, clothing, shelter, education, and medical care. In order to address these concerns, it is crucial to develop a meticulously crafted strategy showcasing your dedication to satisfying the child’s financial requirements. This can involve maintaining gainful employment to be able to provide for your child and avoiding frivolous purchases.
  • Mental Health Challenges: Mental health conditions can influence your capacity to care for the child. The court assesses whether the condition affects your parenting responsibilities and the creation of a safe environment. Presenting evidence of treatment, progress, participation in support groups, and effective coping strategies is vital to showcase your ability to manage your condition and meet the child’s needs.
  • Negative Testimonies from Witnesses: Statements provided by witnesses that depict you negatively can heavily influence the outcome of your custody proceedings. These witnesses might encompass relatives, acquaintances, local residents, or professionals who have witnessed your parenting abilities and interactions with the child. Disputing their credibility, offering contradictory evidence, and presenting positive character references and your involvement in the child’s life can counter negative testimonies and support your parenting capabilities.

Navigating a custody battle can be challenging, as various actions or statements can potentially be used against you. At New York Family Law Group, our Manhattan child custody lawyers understand the intricacies of these cases and are dedicated to safeguarding your rights as a parent. We can help you avoid pitfalls that could affect your case, ensuring you present the strongest possible position and increase your chances of a favorable outcome. Contact us today to secure the best possible future for you and your child.

Get The Help You Need From A Manhattan Family Lawyer – Contact Us Today! 

At New York Family Law Group, Martin Mohr and Ethan Steward specialize in helping parents and kids move forward after divorce. With the help of a family lawyer, you can get through this part of your life, and move toward a brighter future for yourself, your kids, and your ex-spouse. Contact us today at (347) 212-5113 to get started.



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